Providential care

My car accident has me thinking a lot about providence, something that I've believed in my whole life. But walking (or, hobbling away on crutches) from a car that looks like this...




Makes one a little more reflective of how providence works.

I thought God had blessed me with that car because I had worked hard in order to buy it without debt (following His word),  or because it came at a time when I really needed it (I was working two jobs and going to college) He was faithfully providing for my every need. Not that those aren't true, but there's also the fact that the purpose He gave me that car is because He knew I'd be getting in that accident, and He knew He was going to protect me, and He knew that that car would be the means to the end, that it would be big enough to take the impact. Of course, it's still remarkable I came away from the crash, despite what the size of the car is, but that doesn't mean these things weren't in His purpose when He provided for me.

I'll be the first person to tell you that I expect God to change my plans, because He does it so often. No sooner do I think I've found my life course then *BOOM*, I'm walking down a different road. It's funny, because this time I thought I finally had it, that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing . Not that I'm not, but I'm very expectant right now as to how God is going to provide for me through this, in a sort of excited and anticipatory sitting-on-the edge-of-your-seat way. I thought that everything was in line and provided for me in terms of midwifery, I had a car, I had an apprenticeship, I had a little bit of money saved up to live off of since I wouldn't be able to hold a steady job as a midwife, buuuut...

If I look at in a different angle I see, maybe God allowed me to save this money up so that I would have what I needed in order to buy a car after the accident, and trust Him to provide in the years I'm doing an apprenticeship. Maybe the way I thought I was going to do an apprenticeship (three years full-time and then done) was not what He had planned. Maybe He wants me to continue my education as I begun it, working, and then school, working, school. etc. Maybe He's going to provide for me in a way that I won't have to, that I'll have enough money after I buy a car to live off of while I'm apprenticing. But just the fact that I do have money enough to buy another car after this accident, is an example of God's forethought and provision.

All this to say, I know that it's impossible to know the mind of God in its entirety: "8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord". But I also know "that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." And its interesting for me to see, because of the accident, how God provides in such a manifold way. Yes, He provided for me with that car, with the places it got me too, with the money I was able to earn/save with it, and yet on the other hand He is providing for me in another way by taking it away. Its hard for my mind to fathom how God can faithfully provide in so many areas by what seems like one simple provision to begin with. Though I can't quite grasp it, at the edge of my mind I catch a glimmering of how vast, how complex, His plans are. I can't explain it well, but I can see it out of the corner of my eye. I can't do much more than that because its too big for me to wrap my mind around it.

Then there's the "Why me?" question. Not that I regret being alive, but, and I say this without any melodrama, I did have a near-death experience. Not that I nearly died in the sense of I was standing at heavens gates because of a terminal illness, and then I had a remarkable recover, no not that sensational. In the realm of physics, I should be dead, I should not of come away from that accident, I should of been crushed. So what was it that God saved me for, "why me?" (It's almost a scary question, it makes me feel as if I'm responsible to DO something with my life.) Yes, I already knew Christ died that I might live, I know that He already saved my soul from death, but this accident brings the realization home in a way that being a Christian already should of. I took it for granted that I was saved, not that I thought I had done anything, I just took it for granted that Christ saved me, it seemed quite a natural state for me. However we as Christians should all realize that salvation is a very unnatural state for fallen man, and be asking that question "why me?" in gratitude and awe.

Although ultimately the answer comes down to the fact that it was because of God's good pleasure, I think having asked that question, and having it prominent in our mind, it will help us to live with a very concise purpose, it should help us to orient our lives in such a manner that our they reflect our gratitude for being saved, and work to bring glory to Christ for the joy of our salvation by witnessing, by bearing the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. To be brought so close to death, and then snatched back up into life is a very real-world scenario of how Christ plucks us from the hoards of the lost, and brings us to Himself, except for the fact that Spirituality speaking we are not "nearly dead" but "And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience,"

Let us praise Him.

"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), ⁶ and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast. ¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

The Evolution of Customer Service and Employee-Employer relationships

Part of my past work history includes working in a coffee shop for about a year and a half. Recently I've taken  a temporary job running a small country store, it's a legitimate *country* store (think, the store fits into a two car garage). It's lambing season right now and the owners are kind of busy. While working there on Saturday I couldn't help but reflect on the difference between working at the coffee shop, a more commercialized industry, and working at the country store.

At the coffee shop customer service means getting the customer in and out as fast as you possibly can, yet capitalizing those few minutes that the customer is in there by making them feel welcome and as if they have a relationship with you by rushed and hurried chit-chat. Not only that, but each mistake was closely monitored and lectures were delivered if too many mistakes were made. Also, if a mistake were made on the drink we were not allowed to offer it to the customer, but had to dump the drink down the drain.

In comparison at the country store, when the owners are there, they take as long as necessary with each customer, chit-chatting about the weather, kids, farming things, answering questions about the store, and so on. The people who are waiting their turn wait patiently, or engage in the conversation themselves. They know that their turn is coming and that the owners will take just as much painstaking care with them. Also, the owners are frequently giving away stuff. Is this good advertising? Undoubtedly, but I know these people; they are good, generous people. They give because they can, because they want to, not simply because it's good business.

Back when I was a barista we were allowed one "specialty" drink per shift. These were also closely monitored. Putting whip on a non-whip drink was discouraged, or adding syrup to brewed coffee (which was unlimited and free for employees) was considered a shift drink. My pay was at minimum wage, (plus a tip jar) when I had worked there for a year I received a nickel raise. When there was down time we were encouraged to constantly stay busy...or at least look busy. There was much unnecessary "busywork" that was done (aside from a legitimate chore/cleaning chart) simply to look busy.  Our boss had camera's installed with which she could watch us from home.

Skip forward to working in a country store. The owners are as generous to their employees' as they are to their customers. If I am hungry I'm encouraged to eat or drink some of the product from the cooler. My starting wage is far above what's necessary for tending such a low-maintenance shop. The owners encourage me to bring a book or something to keep my hands busy when I'm slow. Do they have stuff that they'd like me to do? Yes. But it's stuff that actually needs being done, and isn't just silly work so that they feel I'm earning my keep.

What's the outcome?

Well, as an employee I *want* to work hard for them. I find things to do that I'm not told to. I serve with a joyful spirit, and do everything I can not to take advantage of their generosity. Did I do the same at my old place of employment? Yes, as a Christian I felt it was my duty to glorify God through hard work. But I always had a sense of dread hanging over me for any mistakes I might make.

My question is this - How did customer service go from being an intentional time of devotion to the customer in order to make sure they got what they really wanted, seeing that they were treated as a member of community that you were well acquainted with, and treating them to generosity; to getting someone in and out of the store as fast as possible, with as much stuff as you could force/suggest them to buy, while making small talk to make sure they enjoyed their "experience"?

How did we go from a mutual appreciation in the relationship between the employer-employee to a relationship where they both try to take advantage of each other however they possibly could?

Was it the development of transportation, and hence a loss of community? Was it the coming of mass production and huge corporations? Was it the growing commercialization of the West in general? Was it the dying of Christian principles and a loss of understanding in what it meant to love God and one another?

I believe the answer to all the questions about is "yes."

In abandoning Christ we have lost much. Do I believe cars, trains, and buses are wrong? No. But it certainly allows for a great deal more of unaccountably, it allows for a thief to rob their master and skip town fast. It allows for people to run away from their small town (and church) where everyone knows everything about them.

Mass production has taken from us an appreciation of how much work is put into producing something. Huge companies have taken the humanity  out of  employee-employer relationship.  Commercialization and the advertisement emphasis has made us look to how much money we can make in order to buy what we don't need.


The Christian principles, laws that involve not going into a debt filled lifestyle, not extorting, not stealing, are in their death throws here in the West. Money is the sole focus, debt is a necessary evil (if viewed as an evil at all) and "loving your neighbor" is considered a sappy sentimental way of life that Jesus suggested, not a command to follow the law when dealing in all things. Romans 13:8-10 addresses all of these categories nicely.

"Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "you shall not commit adultery," "you shall not murder," "you shall not steal," "you shall not bear false witness," "you shall not covet," and if there is any other commandment , are all summed up in this saying, namely, "you shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."

Political Dabbling

Some of you may have heard of something that went down in the south involving the CPAC  (conservative political action conference) and a man names Scott Terry. I've read several different articles, that I'm not linking here about this incident. It seems that things are being contributed to this man, such as that he was advocating for slavery, which he never said and explains that here.

Just in case someone wants to read an accurate report, here's a link that takes the time to quote Terry correctly. And here is a website explaining the morality behind what Terry said. Last of all here's an overview of the event at large.


From what I've heard (that's TRUE) of the incident, and having the southern roots that I do, I appreciate that  someone was taking a stand instead of letting the old south get demonized.  I also appreciate them making the case that whites are getting disenfranchised. I wish the mainstream media wouldn't lie and defame people who have the guts to speak the truth.

Old and New Testament God, or Gods?

I don't know about you but I often converse with people who imply, if not outright claim, that the God of the New Testament and the God of the Old Testament were two different Gods. Or at least a God with two different dispositions, so vastly different that He appears to be bipolar. In the New Testament He is a loving cushy God, a Father who can be driven to tears about the actions of His children, which he cannot control. In the Old Testament He is a grumpy old  School master that wants to kill everybody and is always finding fault with His charges.

For this reason, and because people don't like how "unloving" the Old Testament God is, the Old Testament is frequently discounted and laid aside. Everything but the Ten Commandments of course, but only a very narrow of interpretation of these are allowed.

I've put in a fair amount of driving time and my father has been kind enough to provide me with listening material. This week the point that grabbed my attention had to do with the above mentioned issue. The verse below was the text used to deal with it. Although there are plenty of more direct ways of dealing with this topic, good ways, this method was what was recently presented to me and one I had never heard before. It's always exciting for me to make new connections regarding the scriptures.

Acts 17:11-12

"These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Therefore many of them believed; also of honorable women which were Greeks, and of men, not a few."

The speaker pointed out that those who were being addressed only had the Old Testament to search, and that they were able to find out that Paul was speaking the truth by searching it alone. This simple fact proves three points

1.) That the Old Testament is not obsolete. It was used to test the veracity of New Testament preaching, and is still valid for teaching today.

2.) The God described in the Old Testament is in actuality enough alike to the God of the New Testament for the people being preached to recognize them as the same. We can see here that obviously there must be a clear continuity between the Old and New Testament material, and the God of both.

3.) If the gospel being preached from today's pulpits cannot be compared with the Old Testament teachings then it is likely not the gospel being preached.

Finally, the God of the Old Testament did not scare these people away "therefore many of them believed."

Today it seems we are so concerned with making God seeming loving and nice that we stop preaching the God of scriptures. We forget that it is only the God of scriptures Who can bring salvation, and He is mighty to save. Yes, He is a God of  righteous holiness, justice, and wrath, but this makes His gift of grace and mercy, Christ on the cross, all the more unbelievable.

 Furthermore we can never keep the message of Christ on the cross in the proper perspective unless we recognize God's concern for His holiness, which is set forth clearly in the Old Testament. Did Christ die on the cross because of love for us? Yes. But the primary reason in His mind was His Father's glory, as it always should be for Christians as well.

God had promised the death of the sinner at the fall "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die."  - Genesis 2:16-17 Now, it is true that on the day that Adam and Eve ate of the tree they began to die, but they did not immediately physically die. Also, God made it clear that they would have children, and as long as any one of their descendants lived on then Adam and Eve lived on as great, great, great, etc. grandparents and thus were not entirely "dead" in the sense that all they were would cease to exist.

God's infallible word was in question. He had said they would die, and yet they had not. Does God not keep His word? No, because of His mercy God delayed the death sentence for Adam and Eve. Yet He still had to fulfill what He swore to them, or be called a liar. We can see a hint of God's plan for redemption in verse fifteen of Genesis two when God tells the Serpent that the Seed of Eve would bruise (crush) his head.

Jesus came along of the Davidic line, of the Noahic line, of Seth's line, and finally of Adam's lineage. He was to die the physical death that had been promised to Adam. He was to take the old man of Adam's nature and upon Himself (not that He was sinful but He took our sin upon Himself) and at the cross fulfill God's promise of death to Adam. He died a complete physical death due to our sin, if we had not sinned, or if God had not chosen to have mercy upon us, Christ would never have needed to die. Who made the promise of a redeemer? Who had mercy on Adam delaying his death sentence until one who could fulfill God's oath and die in Adam's place came along, and yet give eternal life to Adam's seed? It was the God of the Old Testament that so many accuse of being unloving.

God promised Adam would die if he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Christ came to fulfill that promise; first of all so that God's  name would not be impugned, but secondly so that we ourselves would not have to die. God could have chosen that Adam die immediately and thus have cleared His name without sacrificing His own Son. This would have shown that He was indeed a just God, yet it would have called the mercy of His character into question. So in order to preserve both the justice of His name and prove the mercy of His character God chose that His glory should be made known and His mercy shown in allowing us to live and sending a propitiatory lamb in our place.

Thus we can see God's character of mercy, justice, and love displayed in the Old Testament and the fulfillment of it in the New Testament. Not two different God's at all.

Romans 13, a Different Perspective.

"Now there are many who would say that  we should be obedient to state laws. Romans thirteen is thrown at me so many times that I just expect it automatically and now I come up with it in the course of a talk. In fact one person told me I had no right to criticize the federal reserve system, this was a minister, turned out that his uncle was a member of the federal reserve board.  Or that we have no right to criticize politicians, well I hardly see that; and it’s wrong for us to resist. Well that always leads me to ask in return “well what was saint Paul doing in prison so many times?”

 Now what Romans thirteen tells us is that the powers that be are ordained of God indeed. But it also tells us they are to be ministers of God. That God has ordained on the one hand a ministry of grace, and then a ministry of justice. Now do you mean if I’m sitting in a church where the ministry of grace is being turned into a ministry of abomination by a modernist preacher I’m to say nothing? I’m to protest. And if I’m in a state where the ministry of justice is turned into a ministry of injustice I’m to use every Godly means to protest that… So we cannot use Romans thirteen to silence Christians, that’s an excuse to evade Christian responsibility"

~Rousas John Rushdoony

I came across this in my transcribing this week (which, by the way I set a new record of 38,707 words this week) and thought it was excellent, as much of Rushdoony's work is.

When I was attending a church out in Idaho I actually had a preacher use the West Minister Catechism to preach on how we need to submit to the government and that we could not criticize politicians or speak ill of them.

This is where I believe the problem lies. Rushdoony uses the example of protesting when the ministry of grace is being perverted abominably. Well maybe back in 1965ish when he was talking somebody might have protested, but not anymore. The churches are as guilty of perverting their God given duties as the Civil Government is, hence why we have people believing the common Roman's 13 interpretation of "lay down and let the government destroy all that is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report, because that is
your Biblical duty" (Philippians 4:8 reference). If we will not stand up for what is right in the church, how can we expect anyone to stand up for what is right in the civil government?

“Rebellion to tyranny is obedience to God.” - Thomas Jefferson

Obviously our forefathers did not have the same view of Romans 13 as we do. Granted, Thomas Jefferson is not a good example of Christianity (he was a deist who didn't believe in miracles, just Google the "Jefferson Bible") however it was a largely Puritan nation that went to war against the injustices of parliament. Ministers during the Revolutionary war were known as the "Black Robed Regiment" by the British due to the powerful sermons they would preach (while wearing the traditional black robes of ministers) against the injustices of England's rule and the necessity for liberty in Christ that would stir their congregations into resisting the tyranny of the Brits.

Thus we can see that the current popular interpretation of Roman's thirteen is not only Unbiblical but spits in the face of out heritage, the very ideals that this country was founded on. You'd think that we would have thought this through a little more before adopting a communistic Statist interpretation of the Bible.

Poems of a CNA

Even though I worked in an assisted living home we did hospice care for our residents when they started failing. These are poems about my experience working as a CNA, and some of them have to deal with death when acting as a healthcare worker. They are not to be seen as depressing, but written as a recognition of relief that death brings to these old souls. Please note, I do NOT believe in euthanasia -the idea is unBiblical and extremely sad
__________________________

"In the faded faces
you can get lost
in the passages of time.

Windows when looked through
Tell stories of beauty past
speak of memories fading fast.

And when finally what remains
is but a remnant of what was
the wandering soul in silence says much.

Lines between the present and past
are blurred with visions of the future
where the casual observer is not invited in.

Slowly, slowly fading,
lingering in a hazy existence
life leaves but a shell
though hollow, soon completely emptied.

And I sift through all this
looking for redemption
In an empty wrinkled hand."

__________________________

"Green tubes
like snakes crawling
across the floor
and up the easy chair

Into nostrils breathing
the welcome air of life
a pair of viper fangs settle
grooves formed among the wrinkles"
___________________________

"Hissing, like a silent serpent
crawling belly flat across the floor
creeping up the armrest
welcomed as a friend
its fangs exuding
where they mark
not death,
but life."

_______________________

This short poem following was about one of my residents who had Parkinson's disease and only had the use of one hand. In the dining room a blind resident sat to the right of her, which was the side of the good hand. At mealtimes when they would sit together the first resident would struggle to reach the blind residents coffee cup (which is put upside down when we set the tables) and dexterously flip it right side up using her one good hand.

"Only one hand
The other crippled
yet unable to do much
extending what she has
to do for those who cannot."

______________

"I held death's hand
and with the other
guided the wrinkled tool of toil
into his embrace.

Sweet relief I brought
to one lingering here
caught between two worlds,
Here, and gone.

I ushered a soul to death's doorstep
and with tearful energy
I sought to soothe the path
of one last tumultuous trip to be taken.

I walked right up to death
and relinquished my grasp on the shell
let him ferry her across the styx
while I turned back again

Yet from death returning
my finger prints remain on his hand
and part of me is departing
with the soul to Jordan's land.

I dealt with death
and I gave him a soul
and though with sorrow I bow my head,
with pride I straighten my back.

Because stooping I carried a burden
and sweating I toiled along
helping to bear the cross of one wearied
until leaving it behind they were free."

______________________

This last one is a poem about the death of a sweet peppy blind resident we had who was strongly and evidently Christian. She was surrounded by her family throughout her journey "home to my Father" as she referred to heaven.

"Spirited soul
softly slipping
once determined,
it was her time to go

Gently grasping
family sorrows
watchfully waiting
for the pre-appointed end

Waiting, waiting
it's always the hardest part.
Of saying goodbye,
as time drags on

This is my attempt to start blogging on a regular basis. Once a week, blog posts written on Sunday's.

Why am I doing this?

Well I've decided it will help with my communication skills, my grammar, and help me think a subject out thoroughly. When I have to write something out I often realize I did not have as firm a grasp on the subject as I originally thought I did. That's ok, it helps me learn more when I take the effort to write out my complete thoughts on a matter.

As much as I want to do this, I don't have much hope. I've been planning to do it for the past month, but have spent pretty much every Sunday afternoon sleeping the entire time between lunch and evening service. I know, you'd think I was old or something! To be fair, I pretty much only take naps on Sundays, but not because I don't want to, it's the only day I can justify it to myself ;)

Today is only a half-hearted attempt, it's past 11:45 p.m. and I'm also trying to keep a decent sleep schedule. Don't ask what sort of schedule I was keeping before that makes getting in bed before midnight early to me. :P But I figured if I really wanted to start doing this, then I needed to START, and maybe writing it down will make me accountable...

Another thing I want to start doing is posting my "poetry". Let me explain the quotation marks, I realize true poetry has form, meter, and takes skill to write. My poetry is more quickly jotted down incomplete thoughts in verse form. Sad, I know. Yet one more reason for me writing this blog, hopefully looking at the "poetry" I have written will inspire me to revise it and write better "poetry" in the future.

That being said, I believe I'm going to post a separate blog post tonight of a couple of poems from when I was working at an assisted living home as a CNA.

All in all, I'd like to try again for this blog to be what it was intended to be, a conglomeration of theological thoughts, daily living, and literature attempts. Here's to setting goals you doubt yourself that you'll meet! ;)