Makes one a little more reflective of how providence works.
I thought God had blessed me with that car because I had worked hard in order to buy it without debt (following His word), or because it came at a time when I really needed it (I was working two jobs and going to college) He was faithfully providing for my every need. Not that those aren't true, but there's also the fact that the purpose He gave me that car is because He knew I'd be getting in that accident, and He knew He was going to protect me, and He knew that that car would be the means to the end, that it would be big enough to take the impact. Of course, it's still remarkable I came away from the crash, despite what the size of the car is, but that doesn't mean these things weren't in His purpose when He provided for me.
I'll be the first person to tell you that I expect God to change my plans, because He does it so often. No sooner do I think I've found my life course then *BOOM*, I'm walking down a different road. It's funny, because this time I thought I finally had it, that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing . Not that I'm not, but I'm very expectant right now as to how God is going to provide for me through this, in a sort of excited and anticipatory sitting-on-the edge-of-your-seat way. I thought that everything was in line and provided for me in terms of midwifery, I had a car, I had an apprenticeship, I had a little bit of money saved up to live off of since I wouldn't be able to hold a steady job as a midwife, buuuut...
If I look at in a different angle I see, maybe God allowed me to save this money up so that I would have what I needed in order to buy a car after the accident, and trust Him to provide in the years I'm doing an apprenticeship. Maybe the way I thought I was going to do an apprenticeship (three years full-time and then done) was not what He had planned. Maybe He wants me to continue my education as I begun it, working, and then school, working, school. etc. Maybe He's going to provide for me in a way that I won't have to, that I'll have enough money after I buy a car to live off of while I'm apprenticing. But just the fact that I do have money enough to buy another car after this accident, is an example of God's forethought and provision.
All this to say, I know that it's impossible to know the mind of God in its entirety: "8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord". But I also know "that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." And its interesting for me to see, because of the accident, how God provides in such a manifold way. Yes, He provided for me with that car, with the places it got me too, with the money I was able to earn/save with it, and yet on the other hand He is providing for me in another way by taking it away. Its hard for my mind to fathom how God can faithfully provide in so many areas by what seems like one simple provision to begin with. Though I can't quite grasp it, at the edge of my mind I catch a glimmering of how vast, how complex, His plans are. I can't explain it well, but I can see it out of the corner of my eye. I can't do much more than that because its too big for me to wrap my mind around it.
Then there's the "Why me?" question. Not that I regret being alive, but, and I say this without any melodrama, I did have a near-death experience. Not that I nearly died in the sense of I was standing at heavens gates because of a terminal illness, and then I had a remarkable recover, no not that sensational. In the realm of physics, I should be dead, I should not of come away from that accident, I should of been crushed. So what was it that God saved me for, "why me?" (It's almost a scary question, it makes me feel as if I'm responsible to DO something with my life.) Yes, I already knew Christ died that I might live, I know that He already saved my soul from death, but this accident brings the realization home in a way that being a Christian already should of. I took it for granted that I was saved, not that I thought I had done anything, I just took it for granted that Christ saved me, it seemed quite a natural state for me. However we as Christians should all realize that salvation is a very unnatural state for fallen man, and be asking that question "why me?" in gratitude and awe.
Although ultimately the answer comes down to the fact that it was because of God's good pleasure, I think having asked that question, and having it prominent in our mind, it will help us to live with a very concise purpose, it should help us to orient our lives in such a manner that our they reflect our gratitude for being saved, and work to bring glory to Christ for the joy of our salvation by witnessing, by bearing the fruit of the Spirit in our lives. To be brought so close to death, and then snatched back up into life is a very real-world scenario of how Christ plucks us from the hoards of the lost, and brings us to Himself, except for the fact that Spirituality speaking we are not "nearly dead" but "And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience,"
Let us praise Him.
"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."
